Why am I on BUMBLE?

(Re)written 27 July 2021

All of the stuff below the “>>>>>>>>” marker was written 11 July and for the moment I’m leaving it there. But I’m not satisfied and I’m working on re-writing it. Most/all of my life I’ve been more adept with dealing with things and ideas than with with people. That’s not enough for me – never has been. But I think, now, at 72 (birthday three days ago), I need to try and put myself “out there” as the complex, flawed, and basically honorable person/male that I am. I am incomplete, and still learning about life, and I want a partner to do that with. I plan to be around for a while, have the essential health to make that possible, and am determined to leave this life as a better and more complete person that I was, or am.

I want to meet a kindred soul – the kind of relationship that we WANT to talk at least every day, maybe a few times during the day, even if we aren’t physically in the same space. I’m now on a series of trips, and travelling, as a way to get “back” in touch with myself and maybe, just maybe, there is a great woman out there that I could start relating to in a way that feels great to us both. I most definitely want that. Not a temporary thing – but everything has to start somewhere and grow into what we want it to be.

I’m going to write, and adjust, and keep updating this page. If you are in the least interested in what you see, either keep referring back here, or contact me. I’m safe with excellent references for that, have a tremendous respect for women generally, and deserve the rare female that is just as (or hopefully more) capable and desirous of a truly spiritually intimate relationship as I am, and is also willing to learn together. Sometimes I learn, sometimes I teach, sometimes I am just “with” – and it can, and should, shift moment to moment.

That’s it for now. This won’t be perfect – but I’m putting it out there as it comes to me.

Oh – one detail. In Africa, age difference doesn’t matter nearly to the degree it does in the USA and I’ve come to respect that a lot. I am talking to/answering, and “liking” women that are older than me, and that are significantly younger. If there is an age difference, it should be up front and “out there” as a potential obstacle if not dealt with honorably, but also a potential possibility. Let’s see where it goes.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Below written on 11 July 2021.

This is not the short “get attention” write-up. I’m very reliable, but unconventional. This has some information for you to go on. If you are interested in getting to know someone like me, it’s worth a read. If not, that’s OK too. But here it is.

I currently am staying in Vallejo, California (San Francisco Bay area), for a few months before starting some serious travelling. I’d like to meet you while I’m here, but am happy to make contact, or continue getting to know each other, via phone or video if I’m out of the area. An eventual “pen-pal” might come out of it, but I much prefer a face-to-face interaction and if things look good for both of us, the interest of an independent female and skin to skin contact eventually even if it starts through shaking hands and moves to hugs, etc. More on my current situation and background a bit further on.

This page provides more things to go on than a dating site profile permits. If the following interests you, and If we are geographically close, I would enjoy meeting you just to say hello, hear your story, and have an interesting conversation. If we are not close by, reply to me (here or on the dating site) and let’s get to know each other If it doesn’t go past a meeting or conversation or two, that’s perfectly OK. 

Even if your perception of my chosen lifestyle isn’t what you want, we could meet (publicly – stay safe) and have an interesting conversation. I like meeting new people and if we don’t meet or talk, how would we know if it might turn into something fulfilling?

WHERE AM I? AND WHERE WILL I BE FOR THE NEXT FEW MONTHS/YEARS?

I’m a US citizen – born and raised. I returned to the USA on a one-way ticket from Namibia at the end of May, and I’m not sure when, or for how long, I’ll go back to Namibia. It might be months or years, or never – we’ll see. Part of that decision could depend on you. 

  1. I’m in Vallejo, CA, until the first part of August. I’m taking the Amtrak “California Zephyr” to Chicago, then hanging out a friends’ houses in neighboring states until mid-August.
  2. Then the Amtrak “Empire Builder” from Chicago to Seattle and staying in Seattle in a historic hotel (not expensive!) for several days.
  3. Then Amtrak down the coast back to the SF Bay area for about a week. At the end of August, going back to Seattle (again, on a train).
  4. Then either going on “The Canadian” train from Vancouver to Toronto or taking a ferry to Alaska for a while – all depending on COVID and Canadian laws for entry.
  5. After that – uncertain, but I’ll set the plan/schedule as time unfolds. I can, and would enjoy, developing further plans with someone to travel with. One way or the other, I’m going!

WHAT AM I LOOKING FOR? IS THIS YOU

Life isn’t about what we do or see, it’s about who we are and relationships.

I would like to find a (female) friend/partner, travelling companion, and possible/hopefully long-term relationship. I am enjoying life and would prefer to do that with a compatible spirit. Physical intimacy is not an immediate goal or a quest but a potential and welcomed outcome of a rewarding connection. I would like to find someone to write/talk to that could become a friend – possibly separated by long distances for a while or occasionally. But I would need to see you periodically at least, hopefully often. Or maybe we would find a place to “settle” and build the rest of life together if that turns into the shared dream. Being willing to build a foundation for conversational intimacy is a “must.” My past relationship experiences make me wary of falling into bed quickly, and I would ask for some patience. Travelling together does not have to mean sleeping together – but it might, and if it’s right, I would like that a lot. You’re an adult, you decide. 

On the other hand, instead of a lot of travelling, if we both happen to find the exceptional someone, I could be delighted with a “nest” and loving companionship. I did not come from a close and nurturing family, and I’d cherish being part of one. I’d still need to travel occasionally and assume you would too.

The current assumption (flexible) is that my travels will last for months, possibly years, as a solo journey. If we get to know each other soon, and it seems desirable for both of us, I would welcome a travelling companion for anything in my plans following getting to Seattle (“Step 2, above” if you are into bullet points! 😊 ). Prior to that, I’m travelling with friends I’ve known for decades. After that – who knows? But as I said, I’m going one way or the other. I’m fine alone but know it can be more fun with the right person. I meet people easily and expect to find lots of interesting new acquaintances along the way. 

One potential future for this Northern Hemisphere fall season is to take the “Trans Mongolian Railway” (used to be Trans Siberian) from Beijing to St. Petersburg. Wanna go? All plans are COVID-dependent, of course.

BACKGROUND

I was born in Texas, but I left the state at 17 and got over it (politically) years ago. Sausalito is my home of record, where I lived on my 42’ sailboat for many years before 2015 when I became a Peace Corps Volunteer. I am in the USA now, getting rid of virtually everything I own in the USA, including the boat (eventually). The Bay Area will always feel like “home,” however, and my daughter lives here, so I’ll be back a lot.

In 2020, I bought a two-bedroom house in Oranjemund, Namibia, after doing community development service in two different areas of Namibia from April 2015 through the present. I was there long enough and did enough for the communities that I was granted “Permanent Resident Status” this year (not citizenship!), meaning I can come and go to Namibia for the rest of my life without a visa. That isn’t granted easily, and I admit I’m a bit “proud” of it. You can see a Peace Corps video on the first two years of my service at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=15ck5vSuwOs. That’s me – about three years ago! 

When I left the Peace Corps in 2019, I stayed in Namibia doing pretty much the same kind of volunteer work using my pension instead of a Peace Corps subsistence payment. I look almost the same now, except my hair is a little bit whiter. My beard occasionally gets too long (see the desert photo). Over the past 50 years, I’ve lived on four continents and worked or travelled pretty extensively in many countries – more than many people, not as many as some, and not as many as I’d like. But there is a lot of life left to go.

Not in this order, I’ve been a military fighter pilot, a professional actor, a business executive (CEO, CFO, and COO) in both public and private companies, had my own consulting practice for over 30 years, drove a taxi, was a security guard, sold boats, sold life and health insurance, became a certified by PMI as a Project Management Professional, have an engineering undergraduate, and three master’s degrees, been close to homeless twice (trying doesn’t always mean succeeding) and made boatloads of money off and on, plus some other stuff. Eclectic for sure. I am (now) financially stable with a decent pension, and a comfortable upper-middle-class living, particularly in Namibia, but I’m not rich. If you don’t have money – great. If you have money – great. Life isn’t about money, but it does make some things more accessible and opens some doors. I have enough on my own, and would hope you have the same. But what we might be able to do together is so much more important and fulfilling than what’s we’ve done alone.

That’s almost enough about me. I’m single/divorced, not in a romantic relationship, vaccinated (that sounds like I’m a pet or a piece of beef!), and active but not athletic at this point in my life. I want many, many years in my future and intend to live each day as fully as possible. It is easier to do with good friends and inputs from a female perspective on life. Plus, I love holding a woman – it feels great! 

This is a sampler – don’t judge “yes/no” on specifics. If I sound interesting to you, let’s talk. It may go nowhere respectfully, or it may go to magical places, but it won’t go anywhere if we don’t check it out. Basically, “I want to live the magic in the midst of reality” – so far, it’s working. But it’s more fun together. 

Continue to use Bumble or another website to contact me, or you can email me directly at andy@andygarrison.us. The domain “WITWIA.COM” is my blog (since 2015) which is poorly maintained at the moment but is getting better! Phone number available after first contact(s).

Andy

ABOUT MY BUMBLE EXPERIENCES:

This is the first dating site I’ve put some effort into. I have made some minor forays on others off and on. I LIKE the “women make the first move” aspect. But it baffles me that so many women will make the initial contact with literally just “Hi!”, or “You sound interesting,” or a similar one or two-word message, or (worse) just a GIF. You want to know more about me? Start by making a minimal effort to convey some information about yourself. I want someone who will challenge me, and can welcome being challenged. Just a few sentences can be enough. You don’t have to write anything like this missive (I get excited). The short, NOT sweet, “Hi” puts the burden on the other person to take a risk in starting a conversation about something interesting. Scared of being rejected? That’s unavoidable in reaching out to see/meet new experiences,

Not everyone will want someone like me, but I am attracted to a woman who can step out and say, “this is who I am … who are you?” That’s not possible with only the profile info. 

I don’t understand why so many women (I know men do it too) just disappear after starting a communication link without the courtesy of even saying, “Thanks for the reach out, but I’m looking for something different. Have a great life!” or whatever is comfortable for you. Some do, and it is very much appreciated and valued. I know all about technology, the internet, millennials, or whatever, but it’s just rude. 

Finally, I’ve been surprised at the number of women who will look at my travel plans and reply with “I’m looking for a relationship that’s permanent” as though I’m just looking for a fling or a roll in the sack. Whether or not this lasts longer than travel plans depends on whether or not we decide to be a couple after really getting to know each other. Short-term goals couldn’t be farther from the truth, at least for me. They clearly didn’t read this document or have established that the only “permanent” relationship is one where they live in their appointed home and neighborhood and have a “traditional” existence with occasional adventure holidays. That’s fine if you want it – but don’t assume I only want a one-night stand just because I want to find someone who likewise enjoys travelling and taking big bites of life. It is a great way to get to know someone. And I DO want to find a soul mate and build a life together. If this isn’t your way, that’s OK, and I wish you the best. 

If you didn’t find this page through Brumble, you can contact me at andylists@gmail.com. That’s a “business” email, but a safe way to get started. Or you can comment on this page and I’ll get the message.